First I have to come to you and say how sorry I am for not visiting, and commenting on your blogs more often, for not making more posts of my own in this space, for not sharing my journey of late in as much detail as I would have liked to. And believe me, I would have liked to...
You see, my family and I have been thrown into an ongoing crisis by an outside predator for the past twelve and a half months now. I know you will understand that I cannot talk about the details, and you will pray, or wish us well anyway.
This crisis has been like a fire that tore through my poetic life, leaving the ground blackened, and the sky grey...
Within me, it brought out a very primal 'fight or flight' instinct - which is what caused me to start running and losing weight, toning my body into a stronger machine - a part of my life I had let slip away into a sea of denial and a few too many cupcakes!
I pour my heart out to you now, and why now? Why today, and not some other day? Because of this amazing date of wondrous repetition. Because the number twelve feature's in my blog's title? Because it finally feels like time? And I am finally ready to share...
I have been so guarded, and hasten to admit, so uninspired to post because I have been so underneath the monster, licking my wounds on more days then not.
I have only had the energy to keep my children calm, my husband supported, and my house tended to, and to get up in the morning before they wake and rebuild myself mentally and physically by working out - I have obsessed over fitness and overall wellness for something other than the crisis to obsess over! I hope this is making sense?!
So in many ways I feel like the little flower that bloomed, in spite of the burnt and blackened ground. That fire which aims to destroy everything always underestimates the plight and vigour of new life born in the aftermath.
And just like that flower, we grow up. We grow back.
Wider eyed and thicker skinned.
More poetic is a life which faced the fire, and lived to tell.
I've been whirling through my days with a spring in my step, but so many steps in each day that my feet feel as though they don't touch the ground.
I am climbing the mountain, running on the tracks, changing nappies, washing clothes, cleaning (so. much. cleaning)... lifting weights, eating fresh and clean. Loving my five babies and tending to each of their different and changing needs. Holding hands with my husband, and with his support, I am currently in rehearsals for my first musical theatre performance...
I am more excited than I can say, and I can't give much more than that away before opening night!
I feel like I have a new body, and with it, a new journey and a new confidence to make these new connections and lean a new type of singing and performance.
I am walking amongst, befriending, acting and signing with people I had never met before September when I first auditioned. But already they feel like kin. Such an amazing cast and a wonderful production. I have taken a leap, come on home, this place is my place. These people, are my people.
I woke up this morning and realised that somewhere, amongst the washing piles, the care taking, the care giving, the daydreaming and a million other miscellaneous tasks - it had somehow become November, without my permission.
So in my dismay, I thought how better to calm my raging spirit than to reflect on the past couple of months (which I suspect have been lagging longer than that!) by exhibiting some of the photographs which I've managed to frame within my increasingly wonderful, stressful, hope filled, very real, sometimes frightening and alway poetic, life...
From top to bottom:
- Spring time Floriade + Sean within an origami forrest,
- A trio of a day's eats,
- The first salad leaves from my kitchen garden,
- A crafty progress before & after shot made by my sister in law in the same place one year on,
- Celebrating 9 months of running
- Resting and sunning my feet in the Spring sunshine
It seems like too many weeks have gone by without me finding, or making the time to post about our family's September adventures in South Australia. So above are the rest of the sights from our travels:
An emotional visit with my beloved Omi, whose face, and heart are softer than velvet, and sweeter than honey.
One of many delicious family picnics in the September valley's sunshine enjoying the local produce.
German style delicatessens which feel as though time be standing still, and are all the better for it.
And my love, and I. In Hardorf on the way home feeling the chill of the Adelaide Hills, and loving every moment of that...
Oh blimey! Welcome and good day to the wonderful Australian season of Spring!
I cannot believe I didn't make time to post a poetic little entry to welcome her in and to take photos of blossoms! I feel like my life is moving so very fast that I cannot keep up with some of the things I enjoy most of all, like being a blogging goddess!
In truth, I have been away on an adventure across the country and down south to my home town of Adelaide to be a guest at the wedding of my handsome younger brother. And since he has not permitted me to post any photos of him, or the wedding on the internet as yet, you will have to look at one of me in my outfit for the fine occasion! Lucky you!
We made it a family affair all round, and frolicked in the slightly warmer weather, marvelled and played at the base of the ancient fig trees in the Botanical Gardens, took the kids to the Zoo and Museums while in town.
There is more to share, and more to say but before I go for now, how have you been?